Hi, my name is Tori Sierra and I'm a financial advisor who helps female business owners of color save money in taxes, maximize their after tax income, and save for their future selves.
I'm also a yoga teacher and, today, I'm bringing both practices together to chat with you about your path toward pursuing your 2023 goals.
It's the first month of the last quarter of 2023 and you still have two and a half glorious months to hit your 2023 goals!
Are you familiar with the concept of non-attachment?
Non-attachment is a concept in yoga that describes a state in which a person overcomes their emotional attachment to or desire for things, people, or worldly concerns and thus attains a heightened perspective.
In this case, you can apply the concept of non-attachment to the goals that you set at the beginning of 2023.
Setting a goal is a neutral occurrence. Maybe you set your goal based on your past results. Maybe you set your goal based on what you think might be impressive to your colleagues. Or, maybe you set a pie in the sky goal that you actually already surpassed!
When it comes to goal setting, it’s important to remember that you are not defined by your goal and to disentangle your worthiness from the outcome of the goal. Regardless of the outcome, your worth (whether you agree or not) does not change.
If you hit your goal, that doesn’t mean you are more valuable than you were before you achieved it.
If you miss your goal, that doesn’t mean that you are less valuable than you were before you missed it.
It’s important to use information about your progress toward your goal and to think about it neutrally.
So where are you on your way to your 2023 goal now?
What would your thoughts about yourself be if you did hit your goal? What would be your thoughts about yourself be if you didn’t hit your goal?
Are they the same?
Again, this is not to say that goals are meaningless and to let yourself “get away” with mediocrity. But think about how you are talking to yourself after you run through these two scenarios.
The practice of non-attachment can be a powerful tool to help with goal setting by fostering a healthier and more effective approach to pursuing your objectives.
When non-attachment is applied to goal setting, it can provide several benefits:
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Setting goals can often lead to stress and anxiety if you become overly attached to the specific outcome. Non-attachment encourages you to detach from the end result, which can reduce the emotional turmoil associated with success or failure.
Improved Focus on the Present: Non-attachment encourages you to focus on the process rather than fixating on the end result. By being fully present in your actions, you're more likely to perform at your best, increasing the chances of achieving your goals.
Flexibility and Adaptability: Non-attachment allows you to adapt and adjust your goals as circumstances change. This flexibility is crucial in a world where unexpected challenges and opportunities frequently arise.
Enhanced Resilience: When you're not overly attached to a specific outcome, setbacks and failures are less likely to shatter your motivation. You're more likely to bounce back, learn from your experiences, and keep moving forward.
Increased Creativity and Innovation: Non-attachment can free your mind from the constraints of rigid thinking, enabling you to explore new approaches and ideas. This can be particularly useful when facing obstacles or seeking unconventional solutions.
Greater Satisfaction: Ironically, by not being overly attached to achieving your goals, you may find a deeper sense of satisfaction and contentment in the pursuit of them. You're less likely to measure your worth solely by the achievement of external markers.
Here are some practical ways to incorporate non-attachment into your goal-setting process:
Clarify Your Intentions: Start by clearly defining your goals and understanding why they matter to you. This clarity can help you set meaningful objectives while remaining open to different outcomes.
Focus on the Process: Place more emphasis on the daily actions and habits that lead you toward your goals. Concentrate on doing your best in the moment rather than obsessing about the future. WHO are you BEING along the way?
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, making it easier to identify and release attachment when it arises. If you are always in fight or flight mode, it becomes more difficult to find the space to practice mindfulness. Create the space in your day, whether that's in the morning, or before bed, to take those airpods out and take a moment to listen to and acknowledge the thoughts in your mind and the feelings in your body. Don't judge them, but just notice. This will help you identify throughout the day when you're clinging on too tightly to a certain outcome.
Embrace Detachment: Regularly remind yourself that you can't control every aspect of life, and it's okay not to be attached to a particular outcome. This mindset can reduce stress and increase adaptability.
Learn from Setbacks: When you encounter obstacles or failures, view them as opportunities for growth and learning rather than personal defeats. Non-attachment can help you maintain a positive perspective when you experience a setback because you've disentangled your attachment and your worth from the result.
Celebrate Progress: Recognize and celebrate your wins along the way, regardless of whether you've reached the ultimate goal. This can help you stay motivated and enjoy the journey.
Bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness and coach to executives, Brad Stulerg, writes extensively about the fact that our happiness at any given point in time is a function of our reality minus our expectations. If you stay detached and adaptable with your end goal in mind, you will focus on who you are being along the way and enjoy the journey a lot more.
Incorporating non-attachment into your goal-setting practice can lead to a more balanced, fulfilling, and effective approach to pursuing your objectives.
Try it out and let me know what you think! Best of luck as you continue to work toward your 2023 goals! You are AMAZING!